


Seeing The Real Me

by LittleLola1114



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arguing, Blood, Café, Causing a Scene, Choking, Crying, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Teenagers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, Fighting, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Handcuffs, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving In Together, Neko Dan Howell, Panic Attacks, Police, Restraints, Saving, Self-Acceptance, Standing up for themselves, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, forced being on a leash, old views, sex object, tight collar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 22:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLola1114/pseuds/LittleLola1114
Summary: Neko Dan and Phil have been inseparable friends for the past few years now and now that Dan's 18, they decided to move in together and move away to a place that accepts Dan for who he is- a neko. Everyone can see the sexual tension that they have, well everyone except Dan and Phil. It's only after a situation involving the police and almost getting arrested along with a panic attack that Phil finally acknowledge what they have together and takes the leap of faith.





	1. Chapter 1

Dan’s POV

Life as a Neko was sometimes hard, and that’s an understatement. Sure the government has recently passed a bunch of laws allowing more freedom towards nekos but it's only the chip of the iceberg. 

I personally think more can be done but it is better than it was from when I was a child. I remembered when we moved into a new neighborhood because of my father's job transfer and being told that I had to be homeschooled because of the nearby public school having anti-neko policies. I was ten and having a really hard time adjusting to my new life but everything changed when my family introduced me to our neighbors.

That's when I met Phil, a sweet young lad who had a unique view of the world. We instantly became best friends and he and his family never had any issues that I was a Neko. We were always together for hours hanging out at my house once Phil got home from school, we were inseparable and always understood each other. I wasn’t really allowed to leave the house on my own because of special rules Neko’s had but Phil always showed me pictures of the outside world, but I always wanted to see everything for myself.

Then everything changed when Phil came home early from school one day.


	2. Chapter 2

_Memory_

“Dan, Dan, Dan… where are you?” I could hear Phil shout as he was running up the stairs towards my room.

As he finally opened the door to my room, I just blankly stared at him, “ Phil, I'm right here,  
Where else could I be, outside.” I smirked back at him.

“I see your feeling you’re usual dark humor self, but that’s beside the point...guess what came in the mail today?”

“Is it your acceptance letter from Hogwarts, I know you’ve been waiting for that,” I replied sarcastically.

“Uh no, you and I both know that comes via owl, not by post, but I'm still waiting on that.”

“Whatever Phil, so what really came in the mail.”

“It’s my acceptance letter to the University of Manchester! Can you believe it, a college actually wants me”

“Woww, Phil congratulations I’m so happy for you,” I said with a smile but my cat ears were perking down.

“Dan what’s wrong, are you okay, and don’t try to lie, your ears will give you away.”

“It’s...it’s just that, you’re going to have to move away… and leave...me” I said quietly while playing with the end of my tail.

Phil walked over to me and sat on my bed while replacing my hands on my tail with his. It was a common thing he did whenever he really wanted to get my attention.

“You and I both knew this day would come, and yes I would be moving away. My parents said that if I was accepted then they would pay for a flat for me to live in instead of living in the dorms. But there's still something I have to tell you.”

“Yeah, and what would that be,” I asked curiously.

Phil took one hand away from my tail as he reaches for my face and moves a few strands of hair away from my eyes so I can properly see him. We’ve always had a touchy relationship and it never bothers any of us.

‘I wanted to ask...if...umm if you” he started stammering.

“ Yes Phil, come on, spit it out, we don’t have all day”

“Well you know how we practically spent every day together since you moved to the neighborhood eight years ago...and well I can’t see my life without you… so I guess I wanted to ask, well kind of more like plead..if you will maybe come with me to Manchester and move in with me.”

I just stared at him blankly, speechless, “ Wait… what” I stammered in awe. “You can’t be serious Phil, don’t let me get my hopes up, I can’t go I’ll only hold you back.” I took my tail back and wrapped it around my leg.

“Don’t you get it, Dan, I can’t continue this adventure we call life if I don't have my best friend right next to me to experience everything with me...and plus, we’re eighteen now, we both graduated from our schools and we should start living on our own now.”

”But Phil there are all these rules about Neko and non-owners living together, plus extra fees that we can’t pay for just because I’m different and don’t even get me started in living in a new place where we don’t know how they treat or view Nekos.”

“But that’s the beauty in Manchester Dan, it’s revolutionary, it’s way ahead in its times. They accept Nekos and we don’t have to worry about the extra expenses because both our parents already know I’m taking you with me, and are paying for everything until we settle down.”

“So...this is happening, we’re moving in with each other,” I said as my cat ears perked up.

“Yes Dan this is actually happening, pack your things, we’re moving to Manchester!”


	3. Chapter 3

_Present time_

 

It was around noon when I woke up, and like always I looked like I got hit by a truck, so I gathered my things and headed off to the shower. I almost tripped over some leftover boxes places in the hallway that I still haven’t unboxed despite being in this new flat for a few weeks now. Once I got out of the shower, I got out a towel to dry off my cat ears along with my hair. Once I was done, I walked out of the restroom and went into the lounge to finally have breakfast with Phil.

 

“Phil are you down here?” I asked as I was walking down the stairs.

 

“Yeah, I’m her...awww look at your little ears, they're so fluffy, you look so cute and...” he got cut off shortly as I hit him with a pillow.

 

“Phil don’t say that-You’re embarrassing me, I’m not cute,” I said while covering my face as I blushed and sat on the couch next to him.

 

“Come on Dan you and I both know you’re a cutie pie, don't try to deny it,” Phil said with a slight smirk and turned back to his phone.

 

I was flustered with what he told me, so I remain quiet and looked towards the T.V.

 

The news was on and it was a segment about nekos so I sat up so that I could pay attention better.

_Mayor Morales just passed a law stating that shop owners and local businesses have the right to refuse customer service if they are nekos hybrids. He states that “although this is a city where people can be free, we still have to respect that not everyone is open-minded. That being said, few owners in the city have the right to refuse or even call authorities to remove nekos from the facility if they choose to do so, upon refusal, the nekos could get heavily fined or even arrested.”  More on this at 11._

 

I stayed staring at the screen not really moving, my whole body felt stiff. I felt a hand on my back and I looked over to see Phil looking at me with sympathetic eyes.

 

“Hey, it's going to be okay, this won't affect us okay. We have to look on the bright side, the city gives us so many opportunities so it's okay if we can't go to some shops.”

 

“No it's fine, I wouldn't want you to stop going to places just because of me,” I said while turning my face away.

 

“Hey no don't say that” Phil scooted over to me. He put his hand on my chin and tilted my head so he can see my face. With his thumb, he wiped away a tear as it started to fall.

 

“Don't cry Dan, you know you mean the world to me and I don't care about not being able to go to those places. If they don't want to accept you, then they don’t deserve my company, and they're missing out, I'm a great person.” He said the last part with a slight smile.

 

I smiled back at him. “Okay then, thank you, Phil, really thank you.” I continued to meet his eyes and it started to linger. For a brief moment, I see his eyes shift to my lips but he quickly looks into my eyes again before backing away to refocus himself.

 

“Anything for you Kit.” He said while moving some of my curls away from my face and letting my cat ear run through his fingers.

 

_And there he goes using that nickname again, Kit short for Kitty. It was a name Phil called me sometimes knowing full well that I hated it, but it always made me smile._

 

We both turn back to the T.V and we just watch in silence.

 

We stayed watching T.V for a bit after we finished our breakfasts.

We knew we had to get off our buts soon if we were going to get ready and head off to the city. We had planned to go shopping today to buy some more home decor to make our place a bit homier.

“Hey Dan, is this shirt okay?” Phil asked as he emerged from his room and walked into the hallway.

“Ummm yeah you look good in that,” I said giving him a quick glance up and down.

“Ohh I look good you say,” Phil said with a slight smirk.

“Oh shut up you spoon, you know what I mean, now which beanie black or burgundy.”

“Definitely the black one, it makes your eyes pop,” Phil said while taking the hat from my hand and placing on my head; fixing a few strands behind my ear. “There see, your eyes are sparkling.”

“Thanks,” I said with a smile and a slight blush.


	4. Chapter 4

We had all our things and were about to head out when Phil suddenly called out.

“Hey wait, Dan, your tails’ still out,” he said while reaching over to me. “Come on, hands up.”

My hands went up and I felt Phil’s hand on my shirt slowly lifting it up, his other hand lowers the waistband of my pants. “ Okay wrap yourself.” I moved my tail up and wrapped it around my lower stomach. He fixed my tail as he saw fit and pulled down my shirt. “Okay, good, I can’t see it.” I was flustered but I still managed to thank him.

I wasn’t used to hiding my tail, growing up I always had it out since I was always in the safety of my home or the home of Phil’s parents, and with our new flat I never had to worry. Anytime we went to explore the new parts of the city, I always tucked in my tail just in case the place was not neko friendly.

“Do you want to go to that small cafe downtown before we go to the mall; we haven’t been there yet,” Phil asked as we waited outside for the cab to arrive.

“Ooo, do you think they have chocolate muffins, you know how much I love chocolate muffins.” I gleamed with excitement.

“Well I don’t know if they have chocolate muffins, but if they do, then I’ll definitely buy you one,” Phil said as we both walked out of the apartment.

We waited another minute or so for the cab to finally get here, and when the car pulled up, Phil took the liberty of opening up the car door and allowing me to enter first, he told the driver the address and we were off. I always got a bit sleepy whenever I’m in a car, it was part of the whole hybrid thing; the cat part gets tired easily especially in a moving car since sitting in a constant vibrating vehicle is really soothing.

Ten minutes into the cab ride and I was fast asleep like always. Phil let me sleep for a bit longer, knowing full well it was no use trying to wake me up. We were a block away from the cafe when Phil finally attempted to wake me up.

I was leaning my head against his left shoulder, Phil always did make the best pillow. He raised his right arm and with his fingers gently brought them behind my ear and started to nuzzle them against my skin.

“Danny come on, time to wake up now,” he whispered to me in a calm manner.

“No… five more minutes,” I mumbled to him while leaning my head towards the source of the soft petting.

“I know you’re tired but we’re arriving at the cafe in a bit, so I need you to wake up Kit,” Phil said a bit louder as he moved his fingers lower to lift up my chin.

When I finally decided to open my eyes, they were met with Phil’s piercing blue eyes. They always had a shine to them, whenever I looked at them, I always felt safe. I kept staring into his eyes; unaware of the actual time passing by. My trance was broken by the sound of Phil’s voice.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah just fine… just got lost in your beautiful eyes.” I said jokingly but who am I kidding, it was the truth.

“Oi shut it you,” he laughed as he took his fingers away from my chin. “Come on it’s time to get out, we’re here.”

“Oh Phil, you know I’m just joking, well not entirely, your eyes are really beautiful, one of a kind,“ I said stepping out of the cab.

“Well, then I… I guess thank you, Danny,” Phil stammered out turning away but not before I caught a glimpse of a blush on his cheek. I stayed smiling to myself.

We continued crossing the street.

“Oh look the book store is having a sale,” Phil said with glee.

“Noooo… no books, Philly my muffin is waiting for me” I whined out as I grabbed his arm to pull him towards the cafe.

“I know, I know, but I promise I’ll just be a minute. I want to see if they have the new Stephen King's book I’ve been wanting. I’ll meet you inside” Phil said as he started walking backwards towards the bookstore.

Well what can I do, I can’t get between Phil and his love for books, I mentally told myself as I walked into Mr. Joey’s Cafe.


	5. Chapter 5

The older gentleman behind the counter welcomed me in as I found a table by the window and sat down. I was going to wait for Phil to return from the bookstore since he was the one who was going to buy me my muffin.

 

I was on my phone when I realized strands of hair were all over the front of my face. _Great, my cab ride nap messed up my hair, and the beanie didn’t do much to help that situation._ I pulled off my hat to fix my hair for a quick second before placing it back on.

 

I was leaning back against my chair looking out the window to see if I could spot Phil when I heard some footsteps coming towards me.

 

“Young man, I saw that,” an older gentleman stated.

 

“Excuse me?” I said once realizing that he was referring to me.

 

“I saw what was underneath your hat,” he said with a bit of a harsh tone.

 

“Hair?” I said sarcastically but knowing full well that I was panicking.

 

“Don’t be smart with me boy. You and I both know what I’m referring too.”

 

“Sir, I’m sorry but do you have a problem?” I started getting defensive.

 

“Of course I do, you’re one of them, aren’t you… one of those disgusting creatures.”

 

“Excuse me sir but you have no right to talk to me like this, who the fuck do you think you are?” I said standing up from chair and raising my voice.

 

“ I’m Joey Goslin, I own the fucking place,” he said as he towered over me.

 

“Oh well good for you, but I don’t give a fuck, now if you excuse me,  I’m a paying customer and I’ll be going back to my seat now.”

 

“No! I’m not serving your kind here, get out or I’m calling the police!” the apparent Mr. Joey said.

 

“Call them I don’t give a fuck, I am a normal human being and you’re just discriminating because you’re an old prick who hasn’t gotten off his high horse to notice that times are changing and Nekos have equal rights,” I yelled out, taking note that the whole cafe was now listening.

 

“I don’t give a fuck that the times are changing, I am not serving you, It’s one thing that my own daughter brought one of your kind home and expected me to allow her to marry it, but this is my business that I started up on my own and I refuse to serve you! Now get out!” Mr. Joey yelled.

 

“No, I’m staying!” I said sitting back down.

 

“I’m calling the police and having them arrest you!” Mr. Joey stated as he walks behind the counter to pick up the phone.

 

_Dammit, Dan, why did you have to open your big mouth, you could have just walked away and not cause a commotion...I mean sure you were standing up for yourself and what you believe in but now you might be getting arrested. Life sometimes sucks._

 

I continued to sit down and started to look around in the cafe, I definitely knew Mr. Joey called the police and I knew they would be here soon because well...the universe hates me that... and the police station is literally two blocks away from here. So yeah, the odds are not in my favor right now.

 

_Phil where are you?_


	6. Chapter 6

“He’s right over here, wearing the black beanie.” I could hear Mr. Joey say behind me. _The police must be here already._ I thought to myself.

 

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the facility,” a deeper voice said. “I’m sure you’ve heard on the news that owners are allowed to respectfully decline customers if they are a hybrid descent.”

 

“Yes, I heard” I expressed with a cold tone. “However, that poor excuse for a man over there was anything but respectful towards me, that’s why I’m still here.”

 

“Like hell am I going to be respectful to you, your nothing but a filthy animal and if you don’t leave right now, I’m going to have him remove you by force!” Mr. Joey yelled.

 

“Sir I‘m going to ask you one more time, Please get up and follow me outside or I’m going to have to use force and I don’t want to do that sir, I’m on your side.”

 

I let out a long sigh, “I mean I don’t want to cause a bigger commotion than I already did, I guess I’ll just lea…” I was in the middle of saying but got cut off as another officer walked into the cafe.

 

“What’s the holdup! Officer Vasquez, I told you in the car that you were to arrest the Hybrid and not to negotiate with it, it’s breaking the law so cuff him already!”

 

“Sir, he’s not causing any harm, these no need to arrest the man,” Vasquez stated.

 

“What man, he’s an animal! Where is your owner, or does nobody want you?”

 

I stood up. “It shouldn’t matter if I have an owner or not, because I’m a fucking human with the same rights as you or him,” I said pointing to the officer and to Mr. Joey. “It shouldn’t matter that I have cat ears and a tail, I had the same education and was taught the same moral lessons like anyone else, so why should I be discriminated?” I started to walk towards the door when I felt something around my neck pulling me back.

 

“Come back here you filthy animal!”

 

All of a sudden I felt like I was being choked. I put my arms up to my neck to see what was restricting my airway, only to find a snare poll around my neck just like the ones they use to capture stray dogs on the street.

 

“Wha… th..fuck?” I gasped out.

My attention was brought back up to the entrance as I heard the little bell ring signaling someone has entering the cafe, and to my surprise and relief, it was none other than Phil.

 

For a moment, Phil and I locked eyes, both not knowing what was happening. Suddenly Phil spoke, “What’s going on here?!” “What are you doing with him?!”

 

“Sir step back, this animal is dangerous, we wouldn’t want you to get hurt, so unless you are the owner, then I suggest you leave us to do our business.” the mean officer stated.

 

Phil looked hesitant for a moment before blurting out, “Yes! He’s...it’s mine. I’m its owner, I turned around for a second and it wandered off. Can you please release my neko and explain to me what happened here? I can’t express to you how embarrassed I am that it got away from me.”

 

My eyes were wide, I was in shock.  _What did Phil just say? Did he just say that he owned me? He didn’t even acknowledge me as a human, he called me “it” for Christ sakes. All of these thoughts were roaming around in my head that I different even hear Phil talking to the Officer or the owner Mr. Joey._

 

“Now Mr. Joey has said that he will not actually press any charges, but we do ask you as the owner to put your pet on a leash if you do so wish to be in places where Hybrids are not allowed. As of right now, we are providing you with a plastic collar that can go around its neck and a leash so you can take it out of here.”

 

I eyes wandered down towards the so-called “plastic collar,” it looked like the fucken plastic tags they handcuff people with when they don’t have actual handcuff, just a bit bigger.

 

Officer Vasquez slowly walked up to me with the collar and as he was placing it around my neck, a faint  _I’m sorry, c_ ould be heard going through his lips.

 

 _I don’t blame him, it’s not his fault._  I thought to myself.

 

The leash was then clipped on and the other Officer grabbed hold of the leash and yanked it hard.

 

I stumbled forward from the hard tug. I looked up to see Phil looking away what I can only imagine to be shameful eyes.

 

“You have to show dominance to let the animal know that you are the boss, just pull him a few times and then they'll start seeing you as the master.” the rude Officer stated. “ Here give it a try,” he said handing it to Phil.

 

I felt the leash get handed and I waited.  _A million thought went through my head as I waited._ I was moved forward again as the leash was pulled. I nearly broke into tears right then and there.

 

“Well, I see you have everything under control here, I guess we can leave you too it.” the rude Officer said right before he and Officer Vasquez left.

 

After they left, the store remained quite, so quiet, you can hear a pin drop. Some of the remaining customers continued staring, while the others just looked towards their drink, not wanting to be a part of whatever event this was.

 

I felt another tug and my eyes widen.

 

“Umm...I guess...I guess we should go home then.” Phil almost whispered.

 

He leads me out of the cafe as my eyes continued to look at the floor, not wanting to look at Phil right now.

 

He held a cab and we waited in silence for a few seconds before one finally stopped for us.

 

Once we were in the cab, Phil tried to comfort me a little by trying to place a hand on my knee, but I just moved away and continued to look away.

 

“Kit, please don’t do that.”

 

I felt Phil’s fingers on my chin trying to tilt my head so I could face him better, but before he can turn me all the way, I grabbed his wrist and pulled it away from my face. “Please don’t call me that right now.” I plainly said with no emotion.

 

He finally stopped trying to comfort me and we remained silent for the rest of the ride home. My eyes were desperate for sleep but I resisted it with all my might.

 

The cab ride was over as soon as it started. I was the first one to open the cab door in order to get out, but when I took a step forward, my neck was pulled back. For a moment I was confused until I turned around and realized I was still wearing the collar and Phil for some strange reason was still holding on to the leash.

 

We made eye contact for the first time since the whole situation. “Oh...I’m sorry,” Phil said as he let go of the leash. I proceeded to get out of the car.


	7. Chapter 7

I made it all the way up the stairs, with Phil slowly trailing behind me. I went to open the door only to realized Phil had the keys. I let go of the door handle and walked towards the wall, I was so tired from everything that has happened, I started to slide down the wall and clutched my arms around my legs.

 

Phil finally caught up to me and saw me on the ground. He was about to say something when I let out a gasp, “Just...please let me inside...I can’t no more.” I didn’t say anything else and Phil quietly opened the door and moved aside so I can walk in.

 

Once I was in, I went straight to the restroom, tears finally falling. It felt like I couldn't breathe. I looked at myself in the mirror trying to calm down my breathing, but it wasn’t helping. I kept staring at the leash and I quickly unclipped it, throwing it in the trash bin. I could see my chest rising up and down in a fast pace. I turned on the sink to splash some water in my face but that didn’t help at all. I gasped for more air. _Why can't I breathe?_

 

“Dan are you okay in there...can you come out here...let's talk about this” I could hear Phil saying from the other side of the door, but I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs to say something back.

 

I looked back at the mirror, my attention drawing to the tight plastic collar around my neck. _Fuck. it’s this thing._ I raised my arm up to my neck, I tried to see where the damn thing was clipped but I couldn't see it. It won’t come off...why can’t I get it off!” _It must come off from the back._

 

I went to the corner of the restroom and sat down. I let all the tears out. I started screaming into my lap. _I hate this. I hate the world. I hate Phi… wait no that's not true...right?,_ I told myself. I let out another scream, tears continue to fall. Who knows how long I sat there crying?

 

I didn’t know what to do anymore. I wanted it off. I put my fingers around the plastic band and with the little space I had, I started to pull it. I kept going and going until I couldn’t, _that’s not working._ I started to get desperate, I looked at my hands one more time before bringing them to my neck one more time and tried to claw the collar off. _Ow...Ow...Fuck._ I kept scratching for another minute or so until I gave up.

I looked back at my hands and I notice there was blood on the tips of the fingers. _I must’ve broken skin. I need something else...like scissors!_

 

I got up not even bothering washing the blood off my fingers, but I did take a moment to look at my neck in the mirror and seeing some drops of blood going down my neck. _I’ll deal with that later._ I told myself before wiping away some tears with my hand, evidently getting blood on my face. _Breathe Dan_.

 

I put my ear against the door to make sure Phil was no longer outside waiting for me. Once I knew the safe was clear, I opened the door and made my way to the kitchen. I started looking through the kitchen drawers in hopes of finding the scissors but I wasn’t having any luck. _What else can I use?_ My eyes went to the kitchen knives. _That might work_.

Before I knew it I grabbed one of the sharpest knife and brought it up to my neck. _If I angle it just right I can get it._

 

I heard footsteps coming from the hall, but I was continuing with my plan. I had the knife right next to the plastic collar when Phil emerged into the kitchen.

 

“DAN! What the fuck are you doing!” he asked in an angry yet scared manner. “Why are you cover in blood...are you trying to hurt yourself?” obviously seeing the blood on my neck and most likely assuming it came from the knife in my hand. He slowing walks up to me and reaches out a hand to try and get the knife away from me.

 

My eye widen as I heard Phil yell at me and a part of me feels ashamed and kind of dumb bringing a knife to my neck and blindly trying to cut away the collar. I looked down and didn’t put up a fight when Phil took away the knife.

 

“What were you trying to accomplish here?” he said in a voice above a whisper. “Please don’t say what I think it was...please don’t tell me that you were going to try and kill yourself, because...I don’t think I can continue living, knowing that you were gone.”

 

I looked up in surprise.  _Did he really think I was going to hurt myself?_ “Umm-I was trying to take the collar off...I didn’t mean to scare you.” I shyly replied.

 

“Fuck Dan...you nearly gave me a heart attack, why didn’t you just ask for my help.” Phil while putting the knife away, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. “But no, instead you try and pull a stupid stunt like this and why because...because you weren’t thinking?”

 

“Well, I’m fucking sorry that I wasn’t thinking right and...I’m sorry I’m in the middle of a fucking panic attack right now and god forbid I don’t say I’m sorry for embarrassing you!” I yelled out.  _This actually might be the first time I’ve actually yelled at Phil, we’ve never really fought before._

 

“What do you mean embarrass me-when did you embarrass me?” Phil looked dumbfounded at my remark.

 

“Where fucking else Phil! At the cafe! You said that you were my owner and that I fucking embarrassed you...you even called me an “it”. I screamed but dropping my voice at the end.

 

Phil looked speechless, wide-eyed and even paler than usual. “I-I umm...let me explain that...I walked into the cafe and I saw what they were doing to you. I got scared Dan, I thought they were going to take you away or something worse.”

“It suits you” I simply said.

“What does?” Phil questioned.

 

“You can fit right into society perfectly with how you acted-it seemed natural, almost like instinct,” I said coldly.

 

It seems that all at once Phil understood what I was implying. “Dan, that’s not fair, that wasn’t real and it wasn’t me, I was only saying those things to protect you.”

 

I shift out a laugh, “Protect me? I’ve been protected and sheltered my whole life. I’ve been tipped toed around by everyone in my life every day for the past 18 years of my life. But you were supposed to be different Phil. Since the very moment I met you, you always saw me differently, you never treated me as a neko, you only treated me as your best friend Dan.” I explained. "And then all of a sudden my whole world gets hit by a shit storm when I finally see the real you, a person you told me you'll never become and hated just as much as I did," I said wiping away a quick tear that fell. "Was it all a lie?"

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

We stare at each other for a bit, before Phil walks up to me. He slowly brings his arms around my shoulders. “Turn around,” he says quietly.

 

At first, I just stare at him, I was reluctant to turn but I give in eventually and turn around.

 

He brings his fingers around my neck and messes around with the collar for a bit until it unclips and finally comes off.

 

A sense of relief goes through my whole body and I can finally relax. I quickly wipe away a tear that escapes before turning around.

 

“Let's get some of that blood of you,” Phil said calmly as if giving me the option to back away at any given moment. He grabs a washcloth from one of the draws and moves to the sink to wet it, then he walked over to me. Phil lifts up my chin so that I can meet his eyes. With his other hand, he reaches around my waist and grabs hold of my tail that evidently became untucked sometimes around all the chaos. Retreating to his old habit to try and comfort me.

 

“Listen...I-I’m sorry for everything today, I really am. I didn’t mean for it to get that far. I saw the thing around your neck and the two cops surrounding you and I got scared that they were going to take you away from me or something worst. I swear to you I didn’t mean any of those things I said, you know me, Dan, better than anyone else so you should know that I would never ever purposefully treat you like that because..well you're the most important person in my life.” Phil expressed as he dabbed the washcloth over the bloody spots on my neck. “Please tell me you understand Dan...please,” he lastly said right as he finished up wiping the blood off.

 

There was a moment of silence before I spoke up, “Thank you for taking off the collar...and I-I’m sorry.” I said and actually meant it. I thought the conversation would be over after that and I was getting really tired so I tried to walk away but I felt Phil grab my arm.

 

“I do see you differently...I always have” Phil said as he holds on to my arm, slowly turning me around.

 

This catches my attention and I stare at him. “What do you mean?”

 

He looked hesitant to say anything at first but then proceed to speak. “I thought you were special...you always had this way you looked at the world, despite everything, you always had that sparkle in your eye and I love that about you,” he said “And I'm sorry about everything that has happened to you. If it was up to me, I would fight every single person on earth just so you can remain happy forever.” And at that remark, Dan stifled a laugh.

 

“But the thing that you need to understand is that I always saw you differently Dan,” he walked a bit closer “and I always thought that we were maybe more than best friends...” he said grabbing my hands, but I took a step back.

He quickly added, “I mean I don't want to freak you out or anything, or maybe this isn't the right time for this b-but here goes nothing...I-uh I love you Dan...I have for a while now and maybe even since that very first day I met you.” he fully stated staring into me as if he was speaking to my soul.

 

My eyes start watering up, “What are you saying?”

 

“I’m saying...I’m saying please don't hate me for what I'm about to..” he didn’t even get to finish his thought as he closes the remaining gap between us connecting our lips.

 

For a brief moment, I flinched, to shock to move away or even move my lips. Phil let go after a few seconds and that tear that was threatening to come down finally fell.

 

Phil saw this happen and quickly backs away realizing what he just did, “Dan..oh my god, I-I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking-please I’m so sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you without your permission. I’ll just leave.” He said as he starts turning around to leave.

 

_Phil just told me he loved me and he-he just kissed me. This can’t be true, can it? What is he doing right now, he looks scared and he’s just staring at me. Say something, Dan, say it before he leaves and you lose him!_

 

“I love you too,” I said in a tone above a whisper.

 

“What? Dan, it’s okay you don’t need to say it if you don’t mean it,” he said in a hurt tone.

 

“I thought no one would want me because I was a neko, I thought that all my life. I honestly did” I wiped away another tear that started to fall. “But when I met, you gave me hope. I started to believe that maybe one day we can fall in love and be happy together, but I knew it can never happen because I’m a neko, and I accepted that a long time ago.”

 

“Oh, Dan” Phil started walking towards me again, one arm reaching out to cup my cheeks. “Being a neko is part of what makes you you, it's the you I fell in love with and the you I hope can allow me the pleasure of calling my boyfriend?”

 

I just smiled, and more tears fall but not from being sad, but from pure happiness,  _Maybe this can all be real. Stop being afraid Dan, allow yourself to be happy, allow yourself to be with Phil._ “Your such a spoon, yes” I gasped out, “Yes” I jumped forward and gave Phil big hug and he held me tight. I finally pulled back and gave him one last look with a smile before leaning in and kissed him once again.


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of the night was calm and quiet to say the most part. We stayed in the flat for the rest of the night and just put on a movie in the living room. We turned on the heater and with that Dan stood no chance, with the amount of stress and emotional exhaustion he went through today he was out like a light. Before I knew it, I could feel purring on my chest where Dan slept and used me as a pillow. I patted his cat ears until sleep caught up to me as well. Right before I shut my eyes, I was quickly reminded of something and pulled out my phone. I scrolled through my contacts and added a few people to a group chat, and texted, “ _Dan and I are finally together!! <3 _

 

I smiled to myself as I waited for the responses that would evidently come any second.

The first reply was from my mother saying” _I’m so happy it finally happened, you two deserve each other! Your father couldn’t stop smiling after I told him, he’s very proud of the man you’ve become.”_ I started tearing up after reading her message.

 

Then came Dan’s father stating,” _It’s about time you two settle down, welcome to the family Phil, even though I always saw you as a son before, but this is way better.”_

 

And following right after came a message from my brother who was the only person I told my feelings about Dan too, he said, “It’s about fucking time little brother, this was years in the making and you guys finally made it official, even though we all knew you guys would end up together but no time like the present. I’m excited to see what happens in the future for you guys- the best duo in the universe!”

 

A final message came from Dan’s mother saying, “ _I am so unbelievably happy and grateful and Dan met you all those years ago. You brought the light out in him and made him smile every single day. I know you will continue making him happy. You two were made for each other and I know Dan’s life changed the day he met you. Thank you for everything.”_

 

I wiped away a tear and smiled looking down towards Dan on my chest and leaned down to kiss his forehead. And with that, I let my eyes close and drifted off to sleep, holding Dan tightly in my arms and never letting him go.  _We are going to be okay._  I thought to myself. _We had a few rough patches but we overcame them and came out stronger than ever. I love him and he loves me. The world is slowly changing and maybe one day everyone in the whole world can treat nekos the way I treat them, equally._

The End


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